8/30/08
In this episode, Willow learns about the perils of online dating, Giles forgets about basic netiquette, and Miss Calendar reveals she has piercings in non-traditional places. The presence of Cordelia and Angel is sorely lacking.
Moloch, the Book
HE: That demon looks like the one Giles turns into in Season 4.
SHE: ‘Getting bound’ sounds kinky.
HE: The circle of Kayless? Isn’t that the Klingon dude?
SHE: Like a god or something.
HE: Kaplagh!
SHE: Why don’t they just destroy the book after they bind Moloch in it?
HE: Or throw it down a well or something. Not send it to a high school.
Fritz is muy loco.
SHE: Since the scanning was Calendar’s idea, we can blame her for the episode.
HE: We should at least blame her for not keeping control of her brainwashed and/or insane students.
SHE: Fritz is muy loco.
HE: “If you’re not jacked in, you’re not alive,” Fritz snarls.
SHE: I’m jacked in too. Did you know that about me, honey?
HE: If by jacked in you mean your USB cable is made out of yarn.
HE: The printed page is obsolete? Nobody told me!SHE: They were saying that 10 years ago, and they’re saying it now. Pages are still being printed.
HE: Newspapers are dying, at least. That’s something.
Giles: I’ll be back in the Middle Ages.
Calendar: Did you ever leave?
HE: WAAH WAAH WAAH I like that exchange. I’m a classicist like Giles. How about you?
SHE: I’m not a techie, that’s for sure.
HE: Yeah, I know. I’ve seen your blog.
HE: Ooh, Scan-a-matique! I think that’s a Mac. Remember when Macs were big, and not just for graphic design?
SHE: We played SimCity for hours at a time on ours.
HE: I still have that stupid song running through my head and it’s been like 15 years.SHE: I sang it earlier tonight.
HE: The sad thing is, I know you’re not lying.
Willow’s Net Pal
HE: That outfit makes Buffy look quite skanky…or like a Japanese teenager. You know, like Gwen Stefani.
SHE: She’s not wearing camo. I have no problem with that outfit.
HE: You wouldn’t.
HE: Here comes Calendar, wearing the sunglasses and looking like she’s hung over.SHE: Back when teachers still went to work hung over.
HE: Now they say you have to be sober.
SHE: This episode makes me miss the 90s.
HE: So people are suspicious of Willow’s online boyfriend? Just because he could be like a 39-year old paedophile/serial killer?
SHE: These days, don’t you just assume they are? It was sweet her thinking he was what he said he was.
HE: I’m guessing she also sends back all that crap from Publisher’s Clearing House.SHE: I understand she also owns the Brooklyn Bridge and a large tract of Florida Swampland.
HE: She’s still waiting on all that Nigerian refugee money, though.
HE: Did you see that Buffy had a 2.8 GPA?
SHE: And we’re expected to believe she would be accepted at Northwestern.
HE: They didn’t say which Northwestern. Maybe they meant Northwestern California.
SHE: Or its satellite school, Sunnydale Northwest.HE: Northwestern International.
SHE: Northwestern Community College.
HE: Northwestern Institute of TV/VCR Repair.
Student: Nazi Germany was a model of a well-ordered society? Who wrote this?
HE: You did, idiot. That’s what happens when you write the thing at 2 a.m. the night before
SHE: Dig the space-age laptop.
HE: That had to weigh, what? only thirty pounds?
SHE: It was huge. Like a Royal typewriter with a screen.
HE: Xander’s shirt does not make me want to vomit, but those bangs are making me gag.
SHE: You don’t like his fag bangs?
HE: What?!
SHE: Makes him look effeminate.
HE: I knew there was a reason for the nausea.
Computer Geeks
HE: Wow…here we get to see self-righteous Buffy for one of the first times.
SHE: I was like Willow in high school. No one wanted to date me.
I was not courted by Moloch in high school.
HE: Not even Moloch?
SHE: I was not courted by Moloch in high school.
HE: His loss.
HE: Get Buffy. “Is there a way to trace an e-letter?” WTF. Is that anything like e-mail?
SHE: This episode is turning out to be dated.
HE: Like carbon-dated. Besides, no doubt Dave is more worried about finding e-porn.
C.R.D.
HE: Dave kind of looks like Harry Anderson from Night Court. Show us a magic trick, dude!
SHE: I find it curious that their security is hooked up into the Internet. Is that standard practice?
HE: How else are the hackers going to get in? Everyone in Sunnydale puts everything online.
SHE: Building plans, medical reports…you’re right.
HE: Of course, no one suspects that Willow usually just googles her information.
Suspicion
HE: Way to go, Moloch… you blew it. Overreached.
SHE: Demons aren’t all that smart.
HE: They’re more out of touch than Giles is. On the other hand, you get trapped in a book for 500 years, how are your social skills going to turn out?
SHE: You tell me. Trapped in a book? Always reading a book? How would your social skills turn out? Sweetie?
HE: Moloch isn’t reading the book, he is the book. Smart ass.
A Blank Book
Bickering leads to wicka wicka waah.
HE: Oh, the sexual tension between Jenny and Rupert!
SHE: Is that what you call that?
HE: You didn’t sense it? It was palpable. They’re a hot couple!
SHE: They become a hot couple. But they were irritating in this episode.
HE: You do know that bickering leads to wicka wicka waah.
SHE: Yes, in movie world bickering leads to wicka wicka waah. In the real world where I live, it leads to the sofa.
HE: I love her black leather jacket.SHE: So did I. Went great with her hair.
Dave Points the Way
SHE: I love Buffy’s camisole. It’s really neat-looking.HE: This is probably not the first time Fritz has been in the girl’s locker room…I bet he was pushed in there by bullies a lot.
SHE: Bad things happen in the girls’ locker room.
SHE: Sniff. Dave’s not sold on killing Buffy. Well, that’s it for him.
HE: Dave’s suicide note is actually well-written. Not like the pathetically terrible suicide notes teenagers write these days.
SHE: I miss the 90’s.
Demon Story
HE: Moloch is in the computer…It’s basically The Lawnmower Man.
SHE: I don’t remember The Lawnmower Man.
HE:It was a Stephen King story. I think Pierce Brosnan was in it. I am God here!
Dave’s Demise
HE: Delete File? Delete interest is more like it.
SHE: Are you bored with this Buffy episode?
HE: It’s not my favorite. Where’s Cordelia?
SHE: That’s right! This episode needed Cordelia.
HE: More Cordelia and less Fritz and Dave.
HE: I thought it was very considerate how Dave stapled the suicide note to himself.
SHE: Cleared up any possible confusion. Whose suicide note is this? Oh wait, it’s yours!
HE: Thank you, recently deceased teenager!
No More Waiting
Giles: There’s a demon on the internet.
Calendar: I know.
HE: The next line was, “you can find him at www.molochthecorruptor.com or at Moloch’s Facebook page.”
SHE: I’m sure it receives a lot of hits.
HE: Probably more than our website does, unfortunately.
At C.R.D.
SHE: Poor Willow. The hostage. First of many. Some guy told me he’d give me the world. It turned out to be a globe.
HE: That’s quite clever, actually.
SHE: It’s in the next room.
HE: Hey. That belongs to me. Get your own globe.SHE: Legally half that globe is mine.
HE: You can have that globe over my cold dead fingers. But not literally.
HE: Dang! MechaMoloch is hardcore. I wonder if he’s HSL.
SHE: I think they were all using dial-up back then.
HE: Yes. So that means whenever MechaMoloch appeared not be paying attention to you, he was actually just loading.
Exorcism
HE: Demon, come! I command you! Why is Giles shouting? Calendar is like two feet away.
SHE: He’s getting into it. I’ve been told that emotions can be typed into the computer.
HE: I wonder if Miss Calendar was using all caps at this point.
SHE: And like a dozen exclamation points.
HE: Moloch probably thought that was rude.
HE: He’s bound. er…where? I guess Moloch had a back-up file.
SHE: They needed to look through the manual before they did the binding.
HE: They could have gone to the troubleshooting tab,
SHE: Or at least check the FAQ’s.
HE: So all you had to do was destroy the container Moloch was in? I bet those monks in 1418 wish they had thought of that.
SHE: That’s craziness.
Books Vs. Computers
HE: He doesn't dangle a corkscrew from his ear.
SHE: “That’s not where I dangle it.” I’m stumped. Where could she dangle it?
HE: Aw dang, that's the hotness!
SHE: Oh, right.
HE: Demon robot, giant praying mantis, vampire...it's like an episode of Match Game 76.
SHE: 1576 maybe.
HE: Except for the robot.
SHE: This was a good ending. Probably the best part of the episode. Signature Joss Whedon ending…not quite a happy note.
Next time: "The Puppet Show"
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