The Master Shall Rise
SHE: Brace yourself, honey.
HE: Oh, sweet Jesus, does it ever stop with this guy?
SHE: No. No it doesn’t.
HE: Ouch, that had to hurt.
SHE: I like the slow-mo Buffy toss onto the ground.
HE: I also liked her slow smirk as the vampire realizes who it’s up against.SHE: I don’t think there are any other fight scenes in the series shot like that one.
HE: Ho korias phanaytie toutay tay nuktee. The Master Shall rise, and the slayer…What? Turns bi? Eats fries?
SHE: We don’t get enough views of the library through the skylight.
HE: Did we realize there was a skylight before this episode?
HE: Yes! Yes! Shake, earth! Look! It’s the Master’s sex face!
SHE: I am not frightened by this master…bator. The 5.1 question was funny, though.
Xander and Buffy
SHE: The vampires are getting cockier.
HE: I like those sunglasses…very steampunk.
SHE: I liked them too. I didn’t know they were steampunk, though.
HE: Sure. Round, and goggle-ly. I want a pair.
SHE: Does that ‘leave’ thing actually work?
HE: Not unless you’re a Jedi. How did Xander get that kid to leave?
SHE: Is it possible Xander wasn't at the bottom of the social ladder after all?
HE: If such a place exists, I don't want to imagine it.
HE: Such a painful scene.SHE: Watch, his heart breaks into three pieces here.
HE: “Desperation is a stinky cologne,” like they say in Super Troopers.
SHE: She was honest with him, and he gets snotty in the end. Men.
HE: Xander turns into a little bitch when he gets rejected. Then he gets indignant. Buffy doesn’t want to spoil the friendship they have. By spoil she means violate it six ways from Sunday. Yuck!
Apocalypse?
SHE: Miss Calendar’s dress is horrible. It was like a plaid wannabe.HE: I think she’s pretty.
SHE: Yes. But her dress, it was horrible.
HE: Did you notice the horseshoe Giles has above his door?
SHE: No.
HE: Well, there was one. I don’t think it brings him much luck, though. And Giles’s calendar is turned to June. What's up with that?
SHE: Weird. I thought it was May.
HE: Maybe they had a bunch of snowdays.
SHE: Now Xander’s been rejected by two women.
HE: Willow is very sweet in this scene…and assertive.
SHE: Nice to see. It’s actually kind of surprising, considering she has the hots for him.
HE: Xander’s going to listen to country music? More like Xander will be masturbating.SHE: Eww!
HE: You know it’s true.
A Prediction
SHE: Giles says that Buffy has thwarted prophecies. Have we had any prophecies yet?
HE: “You may already be a winner”?
SHE: “The value of some collectible plates may not go up. They may go down.”
HE: "Supplies are limited. Act now"?
HE: “Do you think it’ll hurt?” I love the way she delivers this line, so vulnerable. She’s crying.SHE: I like her thinking. When things get tough, quit.
HE: She’s struggling with her responsibility. “I’m sixteen years old. I don’t want to die.”
SHE: We don’t want her to die, either.
HE: Xander should be the one to die, not her!
Buffy Quits
HE: “Sometimes I do know what you’re thinking” Ah, Joyce “Dramatic Irony” Summers.
SHE: And here we have dufus Joyce with no clue what’s going on.
HE: Joyce met Buffy’s father going stag at a party, and Joyce’s father was with someone else. Why am I not surprised?
SHE: This will come back in seven seven when we find out he’s run off with the secretary.
An Attack
HE: That is a roomful of dead teenagers.
SHE: I like the deception in this scene. Ah, the boys are watching cartoons. And you think she’s going to walk up to the couch and see her boyfriend dead. And then she opens the door and her boyfriend falls out.
HE: It also explains why Cordelia wanted Willow to set up the AV. So they could walk in on this bloodbath together.
HE: What do you think of Buffy’s dress?SHE: I love it. It’s beautiful.
HE: I don’t think a later-series Buffy could have pulled it off, though. Too skinny.
SHE: She slimmed down as she went on.
Sending the Child
SHE: When is this barrier supposed to stop baking? He keeps testing it.HE: It’s like a mouth sore you can’t stop putting your tongue on.
SHE: I’m still not scared of the master.
HE: Why should you be? It's not like he's going to rise from the Hellmouth any time soon.
SHE: He's the Global Warming of villains. Someday, he might get you.
HE: It's a wonder you don't have crackpot Watchers saying there isn't enough evidence for his existence.
HE: Giles gets slapped down by his slayer!
SHE: I forgot that she punches him.
HE: Not the last time she does. These characters have a habit of suckerpunching each other on this show.
SHE: It only gets worse as it goes on. It’s a rough crowd.
Going After the Master
HE: Oh joy, creepy kid again.
SHE: Did you catch the Borg reference?
HE: I did. I love that Locutus is based on the Latin word loquor, to speak. I am truly a word geek.
HE: Xander, “man” of action. I’m doing the finger quotes thing around the word man.
SHE: He doesn’t act like a man, but when no one takes him seriously, he gets all snotty.
HE: This character has a lot of verisimilitude. Like a lot of teenagers I know.
HE: Ooh, Xander with the cross. SHE: Interesting exchange.
HE: Why doesn’t Angel just slap it out of his hand?
SHE: Part of the problem is Angel puts up with Xander. If he slapped him around a little bit, the whole relationship would be different.
HE: But then Buffy would get pissed off.
SHE: I’m thinking she’d get over it.
Giving In
SHE: Where’s shortcake going?HE: Isaiah said “a child would lead them,” not “a child would lead them, and then hang around to see what happens.”
SHE: Is he going home to bed? Is he going to put on his footie pajamas?
HE: Now that I think about it, isn't he supposed to be the Master's protege? You'd think he'd at least want to see how it's done.
SHE: Who cares? Let's just count our blessings that he's off-screen for a while.
HE: Why is Angel panting, if he has no breath?
SHE: Good question.
HE: Is he just showing off? Ooh, I ran down here!
SHE: Maybe he’s just used to it; he never outgrew it when he became a vampire.
HE: Vestigial breathing?
Going Aboveground
HE: Cordy to the rescue! Well, she’s been saved enough times this season, I guess it’s only fitting.SHE: Black is white. Night is day. Buffy’s dead? Cordelia to the rescue?
HE: Bang-up job, too. Cordelia drove her car into the school! Worst driver ever.
SHE: She was probably looking for an excuse to do that all year.
HE: I want to know how she got her license, what with flunking Driver's Ed twice. Remember "Witch"?
SHE: I had forgotten! Cordelia truly is a bad, bad driver. Forget Buffy. Just have Cordelia run over the Master.
HE: Yes, Willow, wheel the copier in front of the doors. That’ll help.
SHE: Hey, copiers are heavy.
HE: At least take it off the cart then.
HE: Buffy gets bit so many times, her neck has track marks like a heroin addict’s.SHE: I forgot she got bit by the Master. I thought Angel was the only one.
HE: Nope. Her neck’s the village bicycle. Everyone gets a turn. Except Xander.
SHE: Do you ever get tired of being crude?
HE: Is that a rhetorical question?
Fighting Power
HE: Never before and never again do we hear the theme song during the show itself.
SHE: I thought “rock and roll, holy smokes, they’re playing the theme.”
HE: Wasn’t this supposed to be the only season? That might have been why.
HE: Joss Whedon likes to film people marching toward stuff.
SHE: We should film ourselves doing that.
HE: What would we march towards?
SHE: The only place you march toward with a purpose is the dinner table.
HE: Oh, snap!
The Hellmouth Demon
HE: That’s a fugly demon.
SHE: He’s scary. Rock on.
HE: Like a hydra. I think it was inspired by Whedon's Aliens days.
HE: “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.” SHE: Great line. I liked her line about hell at the end.
HE: I liked “You have fruit punch mouth.”
SHE: It must be a great scene. We're reduced to parroting quotes.
HE: What you said.
Aftermath
SHE: Why didn’t the skeleton get dusted?
HE: I want to know why the skeleton didn't get up and keep fighting! Lazy skeleton!
SHE: He doesn't have any heart.
HE: ...
SHE: Now, the slow walk, with the Theme Song slow plinky piano version.HE: Their back-to-normal banter is so reassuring..
SHE: That’s one apocalypse down.
HE: Yay. We finished Season One. Any comments about the season as a whole?
SHE: Season One is not one of my favorite seasons, but it’s fun to watch. Quite a few things I don’t think I’d seen before. What was your favorite part of Season One?
HE: I don’t know. I guess the one with Sid the Puppet.
SHE: And "Out of Mind, Out of Sight." I liked that one.
HE: I kind of liked “The Pack,” too.
SHE: I feel like we should celebrate or do something.
HE: Wanna watch Fight Club?
SHE: You really know how to talk to a girl.
HE: Okay, fine. Tombstone?
SHE: Now you're talking.
Next Time: Season Two's premiere episode, "When She Was Bad."
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