9/20/08
SHE is back from Boston and better than ever! In this episode, we learn what the characters' worst fears are, we learn about logical fallacies, and we see something so awful one would expect to see it riding in on one of the horses of the Apocalypse.
A New Kid?
HE: Here we are at the master’s lair again. It looks like someone went a little crazy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
SHE: It’s a very romantic setting
HE: In a paedophilic sort of way.
HE: For all her terror, I like the pigtails.
SHE: Those were French braids, not pigtails.
HE: For all her terror, I like the French braids. Do you know how to do those.
SHE: I have to admit that I don’t.
HE: Don’t worry about it. I’ll look it up on the interweb. You can find everything there.
HE: Sleeping on that pillow like that is going to give her a kink in her neck.
SHE: That’s what I thought. I wonder how often she has nightmares, living on the hellmouth and being prone to having visions anyway.
HE: Maybe she has a slayer antihistamine to keep the nightmares away.
SHE: Like Nightmare-B-Gone?
HE: Did you see the magical locker in this scene? It’s open, it’s shut…it’s open again!
SHE: I was too busy being angry with all the people who kept walking through the shot.
HE: It should be more like Bayside High. No one ever walked through Zack or A.C’s shot.
HE: Wendell looks like Tommy from the Power Rangers.
SHE: I don’t know who that is.
HE: You know who the Pink Ranger is. Rowr!
SHE: Wasn’t her name Kimberly?
HE: Oh, please. Looks like a trip to Wikipedia is in your future. Did you know she's 37 this year?
SHE: I don't care.
HE: Her real name is Amy Jo Johnson.
SHE: Still don't care.
A New Force
HE: The Master loves to give speeches. Is this where Buffy gets it?
SHE: His lectures seem a little silly. When you’re evil, you don’t really need a handbook. And the kid who’s the master’s prodigy looked an awful lot like the kid who shows up in the story.
HE: That’s what I thought at first. Very confusing. You have Billy the astral projector, Billy the coma patient…way too many 12 year-olds in this episode.
HE: Joyce seems to have handled the divorce rather well! A very amicable parting with no harsh words for her ex.
SHE: Totally unrealistic.
HE: Not even a dig. No one’s that magnanimous, not even dopey Mrs. Summers.
SHE: I’m waiting to talk about Xander’s shirt. As soon as he showed up in that shirt, I forgot about everything else. Horrible.
HE: It’s like he lost a fight to a 70’s shower curtain
HE: Hold up, what’s this? Giles is acting rather dodgy.
SHE: What was Giles doing back there? Hmm?
HE: I didn’t realize there was a back room on the second floor.
Wendell
HE: I agree with this guy. Why does everyone make the mistake of calling spiders insects?
SHE: I knew that about the arachnids.
HE: Do you know the Greek myth behind the name arachnid.?
SHE: Nope.
HE: It’s interesting. Arachnea was this girl who thought she was the best weaver ever, even better than Athena, who was goddess of the loom. Athena tried to warn her, but Arachnea insisted on a contest. In this contest, Athena wove the constellations, and then turned Arachnea into a spider.
SHE: Who weaves webs.
HE: Yup.
HE: Buffy needs to check her assignments when she misses school.
SHE: She looks like my boyfriend when he takes a test. The test is usually about anniversaries and birthdays.
A History Test
HE: Why is Stacey Keach proctoring this test?
SHE: Who’s Stacey Keach?
HE: You know Mike Hammer? Mickey Spillaine? I the Jury?
HE: Seward’s Folly? Harry Truman? Pretty broad range of history for this test.
SHE: Were you reading the questions?
HE: Well, yeah.
SHE: I missed it. I was too busy trying to type clever things
HE: We should hear some of those.
Laura is Attacked
HE: Smoking Kills! Apparently the administration felt the janitors needed to get the message.
SHE: At least this person is scared by a real monster.
HE: Not one she made up in her head.
Bad Dreams Come True
SHE: Giles is scared of being a big dummy. I wish more people in this world were afraid of being a big dummy. Right, sweetie?
HE: Like the 30% who would vote for a atheist child molester as long as he was a Republican?
SHE: Yes, those kinds of big dummies.
HE: That’s a Nerf Herder sticker in Willow’s locker. Did you see that?
SHE: Nope, I missed it, Eagle Eye.
HE: A little shout out to the theme song people.
HE: Xander shrieks like a girl when he walks into the classroom in his boxers.
SHE: That’s a classic. Someone’s got to be naked in front of a classroom.
HE: Why did it have to be Xander, though?
SHE: Nightmares walk among us.
HE: Makes me think of Illyria. Good times.
SHE: ‘Cause she showed up in her underwear?
HE: No, because she has practically the same line in Angel, Season 5.
SHE: Buffy’s dad is so nice about rejecting her. Who could really be mad at him?
HE: Summers is so cruel here…it’s delicious.
SHE: The worst kind of mean is smiling, personable, and pleasant-voiced.
HE: “You’re not nearly as bright as I thought you were going to be.” I love that line.
SHE: Ouch.
HE: Coming from a guy who’s probably wearing a hairpiece. My only question is why Summers went back into the school afterwards.
SHE: Maybe he had a few illegitimate daughters in there he still needed to reject.
HE: The guy’s a planner.
Willow’s Conclusion
HE: What did happen to Xander’s clothes? Did they go to the Master?
SHE: No, ugly shirt showed up at the end. That shirt is my nightmare.
HE: As horrifying as Cordelia’s Diana Ross hair.
SHE: I agree. This is not the first time she's wigged out about her hair. Whedon's hair arc is well-planned.
HE: Holy crap. Is that a rubber duckie barrett? I don't care if you are a demon; that's just taking things way too far.
Asking Billy
HE: Obligatory fashion question: what do you think about Buffy’s powder blue jacket?
SHE: I like it. Not one of my very favorites, but you know.
HE: I really don’t.
The Ugly Man
HE: Faster if you split up…I just hope that Giles doesn’t have to read any signs on the way.
SHE: For all of Willow’s smarts, she doesn’t realize she’s walking into her own nightmare.
HE: Willow also doesn’t realize the hideousness of those green leggings.
Who Died?
HE: Swastikas, I get it…Xander’s afraid of Nazis.
SHE: You don’t actually see any Nazis. More importantly, why would someone eat chocolate off the ground?
HE: It’s dream chocolate off the dream ground. Xander follows these candy bars like a Grimm fairy tale.
SHE: Billy’s coach is way off the mark here.
HE: They lost because Billy missed the catch? The coach was committing the fallacy of division. It’s when a person reasons that what’s true of the whole must be true of the parts. They lost the game because of mistakes. Billy made a mistake. Therefore, Billy’s mistake cost them the game. The pitcher put those men on base. Why didn’t Billy’s coach put the pitcher in a coma?
SHE: Sounds more like a confirmation bias. People tend to notice and look for what confirms their beliefs. Probably the coach was disposed to think it was Billy’s fault in any case, so when he dropped the ball, it only confirmed what he was thinking anyway.
HE: Come to think of it, it’s probably a post hoc (ergo propter hoc) fallacy. Mere sequences don’t establish cause. Just because Billy’s botched catch preceded the end of the game, it doesn’t mean that Billy’s error caused the loss.
SHE: Either way, E4, Billy.
HE: Very nice!
Facing Your Fears
HE: Chocolate Hurricane? It sounds like a sick sexual practice.
SHE: Eww! Yucky! Did you just get your own joke? Why are you laughing now?
HE: Your reaction.
Chocolate Hurricane? It sounds like a sick sexual practice.
HE: Evil clown with a knife! Xander really got the worst of this deal.
SHE: His nightmares were the worst? Are you secretly Xander?
HE: No, a scientific study showed that I am Glorificus.
SHE: You said he had the worst nightmares. Are you afraid of clowns with knives?
HE: Are you saying you’re not afraid of clowns with knives? The woman who can’t watch It?
SHE: Yeah, you got me on that one.
HE: A dream is a wish your heart makes…so did Disney sue?
SHE: Now how are they going to sue the Master? He’s fictional.
HE: I was talking about Joss Whedon.
HE: Not the last time she’ll have to dig herself out of the ground.
SHE: In Boston, 1 out of 10 people were actually buried alive.
HE: I find that hard to believe.
SHE: That’s where they came up with the phrase ‘graveyard watch.’ Someone had to sit in a graveyard all night, listening for the ringing bells from the buried coffins.
HE: I was wondering how long it would take for you to get a Boston reference in.
SHE: Buffy makes a horrible looking vampire.
HE: Actually, I think Vampire Buffy looks kind of hot.
SHE: You have problems.
HE: Not as cool as Vampire Willow or even Vampire Xander for that matter, but still…
Waking Billy
SHE: Xander’s shirt looks horrible. It’s taken over the whole scene.
HE: I wish they would have started out with the obvious: try slapping him awake!
SHE: Poor Billy. Coach puts him in a coma, and a week later he has to wake up to Xander’s shirt.
HE: Going into a second coma would have been a kindness, but alas, the universe doesn’t work that way.
Billy’s Coach
SHE: Actually a cheesy ending. Joss doesn’t abuse them, so it’s kind of nice when they happen.
HE: He does in Season 1. Cheese dominated in the endings to “The Pack” with Giles’s “your secret is safe with me,” the “We’re doomed” ending… I disagree. This one had a 90210 feel to it.
SHE: Oh, what do you know? You don’t know anything.
Next time: “Out of Mind, Out of Sight”
BONUS! What bumped Billy Palmer's death off the front page...
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