"Witch"

Tonight’s episode, “Witch,” introduces Amy Madison, a peripheral character who first becomes a running joke and later a decidedly bad influence on Willow. Meanwhile, Cordelia begins to hit her stride as the show’s self-involved überbitch, Xander continues his irrelevance, and the mystery of tiny TV gymnasiums is revealed.

Something Normal

HE: Alright! Cheerleading tryouts!
SHE: I’m nostalgic for cheerleading outfits that look like that.
HE: With the pleated skirts and…
SHE: Sweaters that cover?
HE: I’m not. Always be moving forward, that’s my motto.
SHE: That’s because you’re a horndog. You like stripper cheerleaders. And that was Walt Disney’s motto, by the way.

HE: A “yours always” bracelet, Xander? LAME!
SHE: But sweet.
HE: But lame. What was he thinking? That’s the kind of stuff I would have pulled in third grade.
SHE: He’s just not as sophisticated as you are. Of course he didn’t have 200 girlfriends.
HE: Would you just let it go?

Willow: That girl’s on fire!
Cordelia: Enough with the hyperbole!

HE: I love that exchange!
SHE: She’s snooty, but she can actually identify hyperbole.
HE: Back in my day, even the lazy kids could identify hyperbole.
SHE: They also delivered milk in the morning.
HE: And they designed microchips during lunch. They certainly wouldn’t have let two crispy stumps get in the way of their dreams like Amber did.
SHE: It’s the music, it’s the music—that kind of music would set me on fire, too. Oh, well. Viva C+C.
HE: Amber’s a loser. I don’t care how stretchy she is.

She's snooty, but she can actually identify hyperbole.
SHE: Amy trains six hours a day, and she still sucks.
HE: Cordelia’s right. She's got a destiny.


Not a Vampire Problem

SHE: Giles waxing lyrical about fiends makes me think of Wesley.
HE: “That’s the thrill of living on the hellmouth.” A definite Wesley moment.
SHE: Did they model Wesley on early Giles?
HE: Maybe all watchers start out that way. Then their slayers die and they get jaded.

HE: Willow calls herself and Xander the Slayerettes. This is a nickname that did not stick.
SHE: When did they get to the Scoobies?
HE: No doubt there are people out there who have already parsed that question.
SHE: I’ll take that as an “I don’t know,” then.

HE: So why did Joyce have those stupid boxes delivered to the HOUSE?
SHE: Yeah, that made no sense. She’s not parenting, she’s just obsessing over the past. It’s interesting to see how she gets unbusy so she can meddle around in Buffy’s business.
HE: Catherine Madison would have made her go to Slayer Camp.
SHE: Slayerlochen?
HE: Vacation Slayer Study Camp?

The Cheer Queen’s Daughter

HE: Willow and Amy hung in junior high, but they have some scuff-ups in Season 6, and a big battle in Season 8 (the comic book).

SHE: People drift apart. And change. And become witches, apparently.
HE: Guess her father wasn't that great an influence.

The Alternates

HE: A big locker room threat by Cordelia! Oooowooo!
SHE: Cordelia’s a go-getter. You have to admire her passion.
HE: She’s proactive.

HE: Xander calls Willows “my guy friend that knows about girl stuff.” He’s so clueless.
SHE: Poor Willow is like a guy.
HE: With Eddie Munster hair.
SHE: Are her clothes fashionable yet?
HE: You’re asking me? You’re the one who’s always trying to get rid of my clothes!

HE: Is this the first time a scrunchie has been used in a voodoo ritual?
SHE: Cordy’s scrunchie is the symbol of doom. For Cordy.
HE: She becomes blind. I didn’t know you wore them around your eyes.

Great Parenting Form

HE: Joyce’s outfit looks like she should be talking to HAL the computer on 2001.
SHE: I didn’t think so. It looked okay.
HE: Now she’s telling her to be on yearbook. As if.
SHE: Your daughter never opens a book—why would you think she’d want to be on yearbook?
HE: It’s not for everybody.

A Curse on Cordelia

HE: Poor Xander, invisible to both Cordelia and Buffy.
SHE: Poor Cordelia! Aren’t you going to rescue your honey? Your secret crush?
HE: It’s just occurred to me that Xander has trimmed his bangs.
SHE: That’s excellent; we can see his eyes now.
HE: His beady little eyes, as Anya will say.

SHE: Cordy can’t control the car. But she gets in the car. But she can’t control the car. But she gets in the car.
HE: I guess she was panicking about going blind. The spell made her foot stompy, too?
SHE: Or she’s just an incredibly bad driver.
HE: She did flunk driver’s ed twice. And yet later she’s driving a convertible.
SHE: I feel bad for Mr. Pole.
HE: She got saved by Buffy. That’s twice now.
SHE: Omigosh, you’re right. Let’s put up a scorecard.
HE: Can do.

The Witch Test

HE: They’re using aqua fortis. Did you know that I’m an Aqua Fortis man?
SHE: Did you know that aqua fortis, or nitric acid, was used by alchemists to dissolve silver?
HE: HNO3 way!
SHE: Yes way. Bookbinders also put it on leather to make those marbleized covers.
HE: I love Wikipedia. Pretty sneaky how they put the witch test together in the lab.
SHE: Aren’t they supposed to be dissecting frogs? What control does that teacher have?

"Mr. Anderson, how do you expect to cheer...without a mouth?"
HE: Hey, until the moment the black girl’s mouth gums up, I think he had very good classroom management. Most people were on task, except for Buffy, Willow, and Xander, of course.
SHE: They looked busy?
HE: Busy, quiet, either is acceptable. That girl’s mouth gumming up was creepy.
SHE: It’s The Matrix! “Mr. Anderson, how do you expect to cheer…without a mouth?”

Buffy’s Good Mood

SHE: Here’s Buffy sucking down the orange juice!
HE: She wants to be a macho man.
SHE: Loopy Buffy’s hard to take. And where has Angel been?
HE: I’m thinking he doesn’t want to be around that.
SHE: Isn’t he supposed to be watching out for her?
HE: Maybe he’s scouting the Master. And this whole episode happened during the daytime. Even the basketball game, which I don’t understand.
SHE: We also don’t see the Bronze in this episode. Another nighttime-only thing.


Wasted Youth

HE: I love it when Buffy tells Xander he’s “totally and completely one of the girls.”
SHE: In vino veritas, don’t you know.
HE: And the circle of frustration is complete.
SHE: I don’t think he’s even one of the girls. What role does he serve, really? He’s one more lump for Buffy to rescue. Willow’s more useful than he is.
HE: Comic relief, then?
SHE: But he’s not funny.
HE: Picks up the pizza?

SHE: Here we get the first look at Giles’s car.
HE: What kind of car was that?
SHE: I don’t know. A gray piece of crap. What do I look like, the Blue Book?
HE: “You will shut up and listen to me.” You tell him, Giles!
SHE: Why is it that Willow has known Amy all that time, and can’t figure out the switch, but Buffy figures it out in five minutes at the house?
HE: The brownies tell all! Katherine switched the bodies!
The brownies tell all!

SHE: Body switching. I love body switching!
HE: Buffy and Faith switched, too.
SHE: Willow becomes Warren.
HE: And Angel switches with that old guy on his show.
SHE: Giles gets transformed into a demon.
HE: I don’t think that one should count.
SHE: In any case, Buffy got wasted, and Katherine said Amy’s youth was wasted. Hence the switcheroo.

The Counter-Spell

SHE: The cat scared me.
HE: Why are cats always kept in boxes to jump out at people?
SHE: Because it’s scary.
HE: I’d imagine they’d be ready to pounce, stuck in a box. There was also a puss-in-the-box in Alien.
SHE: It’s another classic.
HE: Like the shoulder grab.
SHE: Or the fog rolling in.
HE: Or the car that won’t start.
SHE: “I’ll be right back.”
HE: “My flashlight went dead.”
SHE: We watch too many movies.

HE: Dang, that is a small gymnasium. It’s like they’re playing in the practice gym. That’s a TV convention. For some reason, you always have a gym with a maximum five bleacher rows.
SHE: They can’t fit any more in the camera shot.

HE: “Corsheth and Gilail…Be sated, release the unworthy!” Look, Giles is soaking in it!
SHE: I never understood why they didn’t make Giles a warlock. Wouldn’t that have been helpful?
HE: They could have made Xander a warlock.
SHE: Giles would have actually done stuff. Xander, you’d have to have a spin-off for all the horrible things that went wrong. He’s not all that bright.
HE: What would you call it?

I didn't know the periodic table was so hard!
SHE: The Xander-Giles Comedy Hour?
HE: The Fresh Wizard of Sunnydale?
SHE: Zany. No Time For Sorcerers? That Sorcerer’s Show?
HE: Welcome Back, Moron?


Mother’s Revenge

HE: Dude! You punched Amy’s mom!
SHE: Amy’s mom was not nice. She was mean.
HE: [Buffy is knocked up against the wall in the science lab.] I didn’t know the periodic table was so hard! Ha ha! Get it?
SHE: I didn’t know that mirrors could reflect so much. Lasers, spells…
HE: Did you hear me? I said, “I didn’t know—”
SHE: Yes, yes, I heard you.
HE: Giles says this was his first casting. HE’S LYING! THE RIPPER IS LYING!
SHE: Yeah, I forgot about that. See, he should have been a warlock. He casts his “first” spell and it goes fine. Willow casts one and people lose their minds and don’t know who they are.

A Cheerleader Forever

HE: “I don’t get it” says Joyce. That’s her answer.
SHE: I’m sorry. Joyce is in a different episode, and she keeps wandering into this one.
HE: When Joyce is on the screen, I’m thinking, ‘bathroom break.’ And that’s with us watching it on DVD.
SHE: I want to get a sandwich. And I’m not even hungry.

SHE: Buffy wears a horrible outfit in this scene for some reason. It’s like she got in a fight with the 1970’s and lost.
HE: You usually love everything she wears.
SHE: I know. That’s why it jumped out at me.

HE: Oh no, it’s the FREAKY STATUE!
SHE: Love the freaky statue.
HE: Boring view for Catherine.
SHE: Is she holding her arms out like that forever, too?
HE: She’ll probably cramp up. What happens to her when the school blows up?
SHE: Good question. Hope she likes rubble.

HE: So, you like this episode?
SHE: Yes. And it’s really fun to watch Season Two with Oz and that trophy. No one ever tells him about it. “Her eyes follow you wherever you go.”
HE: I thought it was okay. What’s next?
SHE: “Teacher’s Pet.” That’s the one with Xander and the bug lady.
HE: …
SHE: Wipe the drool off your chin, sweetie.

Next time: “Teacher’s Pet”

The Harvest

HE:: When last we left Buffy, she was stuck in a crypt with Luke the Vampire about to kill her.
SHE:: Who’s apparently sensitive to pain because one little crucifix made him have to jump back!
HE:: The crucifix saved her! Thanks, Angel! How’d he know she’d need a crucifix?
SHE:: Later we learn that the last time Luke didn’t come through on a kill was 1843 Madrid. The end of the Peninsular War.
HE:: How is that possible? He got beat by a crucifix!
SHE:: Well, he’s evil, so we can also assume he’s lying.
HE:: Filthy vampires. You can’t believe a word they say.

HE:: Cemetery a lot foggier back then!
SHE:: In other episodes they moved the ocean so it wasn’t so foggy.
HE:: Weather patterns in Sunnydale are unpredictable.

HE:: The shot of the spinning globe is a nice touch in this library scene. Welcome to the World of Tomorrow! Here at the World’s Fair at Sunnydale. I half expected to see the little black and white plane fly around it.
SHE:: Giles is explaining about demons again.
HE:: The last demon to leave this dimension bit someone on the way out? And that’s how we got vampires?
SHE:: Contrary to popular mythology, the world started out really bad. So stop complaining, everybody!
HE:: But isn’t that a spoilsport thing for the demons to do? We gotta go, but here’s something to remember us by. Smell you later!

HE:: They’ve brought Jesse to the Master. Who apparently has cabin fever.
SHE:: I still don’t get why Darla doesn’t even get scratched for biting him first.
HE:: Well, it is sort of a bummer knowing that you have something waiting for you in the fridge and someone beats you to it.
SHE:: She said his blood was really pure. What did she mean by that?
HE:: Virgin blood?
SHE:: Can they taste that?
HE:: They can smell fear, so why not taste virginity?
SHE:: Can they see melancholy?
HE:: Hear ambivalence?
SHE:: Touch, um…I got nothing.

HE:: Here’s Willow hacking into the plans of the city’s electrical system.
SHE:: That’s a useful skill. The team is forming up. Xander tags along, and doesn’t listen. Willow finds even more information and helps Giles.
HE:: Yes, a pattern is developing early. I think Xander’s obstinance has something to do with his mushroom shirt.

They're clearly toadstools.
SHE:: Sure they’re not jellyfish?
HE:: No, look. They’re clearly toadstools.
SHE:: They looked like jellyfish.
HE:: But they weren’t jellyfish.
SHE:: I’m just saying.

HE:: Ah, Giles the Luddite. “This dread machine” he says. Doesn’t he know you can use the computer to get porn?
SHE:: Probably not.
HE:: Perhaps there’s just something about the feel of a brown paper wrapper. I can talk about this all night.
SHE:: We know. I’d like to point out that willow does not have fashionable clothes yet.

HE:: Principal Flutie…if it’s a closed campus, then why are the gates wide open?
SHE:: Indeed.
HE:: He locks the doors like Morgan Freeman in that Stand by Me movie. You can’t do that.
SHE:: You can’t do that to a building. It’s not like the fire marshal’s worried about the quad catching on fire.
HE:: Well, it is southern California. Everything catches on fire there.

HE:: Boing! Buffy jumps over a 10-foot fence.
SHE:: She looks to see if anyone noticed. If you’re going to do a superhuman feat like that, wouldn’t you look before to make sure no one sees?
HE:: She doesn’t do that much anymore, the giant leaps.
SHE:: Some of these tricks she gets out of the way and never does again.
HE:: Maybe the slayer loses her vertical once she gets older.

HE:: Why Angel doesn’t stop the Harvest? “‘Cause I’m afraid.”
SHE:: He only starts helping out because he’s in love with her? That’s kind of shallow. This early Angel is contradictory.
HE:: All part of the “cryptic wise man act.” Or maybe he had his doubts and didn’t want to help.
SHE:: No, he’s just being lazy.
HE:: Stop the apocalypse and you save a man’s life, teach a man how to stop the apocalypse, and…
SHE:: …the apocalypse is still stopped, but no thanks to you.

HE:: And now Xander gets the jump on her.
SHE:: She’s not very good with mortals. I have the feeling I could get the jump on her, if I just walk up behind her without saying anything first.
HE:: When you get near Buffy, you really have to stomp your feet and yell “Here I come, Buffy! Here I come!” or you’re going to get a crushed trachea or something. How’d Xander get off campus, anyway? Dig a tunnel? You know he can’t jump over the fence
SHE:: Well, he’s not new. You know he knows how to get out of the school.
HE:: He’s got street smarts.
SHE:: Xander does? He’s got a sense of honor. Well, a sense that he’s right, anyway.

HE:: Look at the illustration of the Harvest in the book--The Master: pull my finger!I say pull my finger because it looks like he’s asking that guy to pull his finger. Did you think it looked like he was asking him to pull his finger?
SHE:: No.


Who gave you permission to exist?
SHE:: Yay, it’s Harmony! And here’s Cordelia dissing Buffy in the Computer Lab. Very realistic.
HE:: “Who gave you permission to exist! “ I love that line.
SHE:: That’s mean!
HE:: Silly Cordelia. DEL does not stand for Deliver. Fortunately on your computer it has the entire word on the key. Although one might get a little confused by Num Lk. Numb Lick?
SHE:: Alt. Altimatum?
HE:: You know, you google ‘alt’ and MILF-finder comes up.
Namby pamby. That's fun to say.

SHE:: MILF-finder? [groans] Aw, not MILF’s again. But here we see Willow’s not completely wishy-washy and namby-pamby.
HE:: Namby pamby. That’s fun to say.
SHE:: Namby pamby.
HE:: Namby pamby namby pamby namby pamby. Whee!

HE:: How does Buffy not get that door shut. Why does she need Xander’s help?
SHE:: She can break a doorknob off a door, but she needs Xander to help her shut it. I guess her superpowers are entrance only.
HE:: Maybe she was throwing Xander a bone.
SHE:: Making him feel like he was a help?
HE:: She should’ve come down hard on him in this episode. Say, “Yeah. You are useless.” She could’ve saved herself seven years of hassle. That door’s twisting off like the wrapper to a microwave meal.
SHE:: What is her problem with this door?
HE:: Now they’re going out the manhole cover. Grab her leg, grab her leg, YES! Did you see that one coming?
SHE:: I liked it. It’s a classic. You got to respect the classics.


HE:: Colin fails the Master, he dies. Darla steals his snack, and she gets a pass. I don’t get it.
SHE:: Maybe because she’s vamped out all the time. The Master probably respects her commitment.
HE:: Yeah, because the Master is quite hideous. He’s probably intimidated by good-looking people.
SHE:: Luke looks like Henry Rollins all vamped out. It’s the black t-shirt.
HE:: I think he looks like Joe Piscopo, the muscular comic from SNL.
SHE:: You are old.


HE:: Luke: “My body is your instrument.”
SHE:: Ew!
HE:: “One time, at Vampire Band Camp…”
SHE:: Make sure the Master cleans out your spit valve.
HE:: Snort! Good one.

HE:: Bam! Xander kicks the recycling bin!
SHE:: That’s like you when you get angry.
HE:: Ha ha. He says, “I don’t like vampires.” Angel and Spike, watch out! It kind of fits in with Xander’s latent homosexuality.
SHE:: He doesn’t like campies because he wants them to do him?
HE:: No, he’s upset about Jesse.

HE:: Here’s the reveal about the Hellmouth. The Hellmouth is a bunghole, and the Master is the stopper.
SHE:: I’d buy that. You were the stopper in that one bunghole that one time.
HE:: You’re hilarious when you put your mind to it.
SHE:: Whatever, stopper.

HE:: I don’t think that the parenting tapes Joyce listens to are all that effective.
SHE:: You know, part of her role as a parent is to be realistic to the teenage mind by appearing to be dumb.
HE:: Well, they can’t all be the fathers from Seventh Heaven, you know.
SHE:: Huh.
HE:: God, I’m clever.

SHE:: Joyce says, “It’s not the end of the world.” Love that line. Because, silly woman, it is the end of the world.
HE:: Meanwhile, Joyce went downstairs to get the Irony Casserole out of the oven.

HE:: Are those communion wafers? You’re not supposed to take those from the church.
SHE:: You’re really not. How do you use communion wafers to fight evil?
HE:: You could pin the vampire to the floor and make him eat them, I guess. Or give him a sandwich with a wafer hidden in it. You could hurl them at him like ninja throwing stars.
SHE:: I’m thinking I’m not reaching for the wafers if there’s other stuff in the trunk…like a stake.


Hello, Miss Motormouth?
HE:: I love the little throw-off lines Cordelia has…”Hello, Miss Motormouth? Can I finish a sentence?”
SHE:: You’re in love with Cordelia.
HE:: Yes, I really am.

SHE:: Darla and her group just walk around all vamped out.
HE:: You’d think she was a newbie vampire.
Dashboard Prophets

HE:: Here’s Luke up on stage, holding his lapels like a mayor from a Dick Van Dyke musical.
SHE:: How weird. Showing his age.
HE:: Before Buffy showed up, he was about to do the happy prospector dance.

HE:: Alright! Luke-Buffy, Round 2. Dropped her spike! Tossed into boxes! She really hasn’t adjusted her strategy.
SHE:: Headbutt! That was new. Sneaky sneaky.
HE:: I love the way Jesse is dispatched [bumped by a fleeing clubber into a petrified Xander, who is holding a stake]. I guess that counts as a kill.
SHE:: I love the shot of Buffy after she’s killed Luke. She looks awesome and tough.
HE:: Don’t they end up using that shot on the opening?

HE:: Looks like Buffy is sucking the sucker she sucks when Angel sees her for the first time.
SHE:: Really? The same sucker?
HE:: Well, a sucker. Giles says the next threat might be something different from vampires. What’s the next episode?
SHE:: Witch.
HE:: The next one.
SHE:: No, the name of the episode is Witch.
HE:: Oh yeah, right.

Welcome to the Hellmouth

We are a married couple who thoroughly love the Whedonverse, in particular Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The mission (the only thing that matters, ha ha) of Hellmouth Follies is to present our take on the show. Our ultimate goal is to go through all seven seasons. Gently judge our blog! Here goes!

HE: Okay, so we’ve watched it. Again. For the how manieth time?
SHE: This is the third time I’ve seen it.
HE: The opening is weird. Isn’t Giles supposed to be doing the speech?


Aren't most girls their own monsters?

SHE: Joss misdirects in the first scene.
HE: I know this scene is meant to catch us offguard by having the virginal female turn out to be the monster, but I still feel like it was a lot of work for Darla to go through.
SHE: It’s not about a poor girl being attacked by a monster, but aren’t most girls their own monsters?
HE: Like on Bridezilla.
SHE: How do you know that?

HE: Here’s Buffy in bed.
SHE: She looks great. So young, and a bit on the chubby side.
HE: Yes, very nice. I would be very baffled by these dreams, though. Sure, I’d wake up terrified and everything, but I’d also be thinking, “Huh?”
SHE: Her hair looks fabulous. She wore it down during the day, and up at the Bronze.
HE: Because that’s really when she goes to work. And she looks like a brunette.
SHE: She gets blonder and blonder as time goes on.

HE: Xander wiping out on a skateboard.
SHE: Do you ever see Xander on a skateboard again? I don’t think you do.
HE: He probably can’t see through those bangs.
SHE: That stake looks huge. I think the stakes get smaller, too.
HE: They had a bigger budget later.
SHE: They bought a stake sharpener.
HE: Things get smaller, like cell phones.
SHE: And Buffy, as I said earlier.

They bought a stake sharpener.


HE: What about this Jesse guy?
SHE: He looks like he’s a major character. He shows up in the second scene. The fact that I can’t remember him at all indicates to me he will be dead soon.
HE: The writers even give him some clever dialogue. They hardly ever do that. I read that had it not been for budget constraints, they would have put Jesse in the opening credit montage, just to throw us off.
SHE: Joss Whedon is just mean.

HE: Bob Flutie, the first of many principals.
SHE: Actually, Sunnydale High just goes through two.
HE: Oh. It seemed like more. By the way, I hear ‘Flutie,’ and I think of Doug Flutie, the dwarf NFL quarterback.
SHE: That means nothing to me.

SHE: How old was Charisma Carpenter when she was on this show? When she reaches to shake Buffy’s hand, her hand looks old.
HE: One thing I noticed was that SMG looks better and better. CC, through this series and Angel, not so much. Her hair looks good here, though.
SHE: SMG was 20 when she was playing Buffy. She looks 14.

HE: The teacher is teaching about the Black Plague. Classes always serve the purposes of the plotwagon somehow. And have you noticed that teachers on TV always seem surprised by the bell?
SHE: Do you teach up to the bell?
HE: I’m not in mid-sentence when it rings. I tell my students that I can read a clock, too; they don’t have to tell me what time it is.

HE: Okay, what do you think about vampire nail polish?
SHE: I’m not sure what it is.
HE: James Spader?
SHE: Ehn.
HE: Frappacinos?

SHE: I like Frappacinos.

HE: John Tesh? Is he the devil?
SHE: Yeah, I think he is.
HE: I don’t think you would have passed Cordy’s Coolness test. That doesn’t seem to bother you.

HE: Here’s the body falling out of the locker. look at how that girl is freaking out.
SHE: Later in the show they think, “Oh, today must be Tuesday.”
HE: They did become mordantly jaded in a hurry. Sign of the times, I guess.

SHE: When did Willow cut her hair? The same time she got hip clothes?
HE: I can’t remember. Are those extensions?
SHE: From what I understand, her lack of coolness was intentional, and the networks said,”No, she can’t dress like that. She has to have fashionable clothes.”
HE: Sets are usually cold, so having those wool clothes must have been nice.
SHE: I didn’t know that. How did you know that?
HE: Staring at breasts, mostly.
SHE: Oh. Ee. You’re weird.

HE: Here’s Buffy breaking into the lockerroom. First time we see her superpowers.
SHE: She’s not comfortable with it, though.
HE: Probably because she’d have to pay for the door.
SHE: I mean physically. She doesn’t know her own strength.

SHE: Giles has a really cool book.
HE: It says “VAMPYR” on it. It’s from her dream.
SHE: You know what’s weird? They didn’t have better communication. She had one watcher, and he bit it. Giles knew she was coming. That’s his approach--chasing after her with a big fat vampire book?
HE: He must have went to the Windham-Pryce School of Watching.
SHE: I thought the Watcher’s Council was supposed to be organized.
HE: They should have called ahead. But Giles doesn’t like technology.
They should have called ahead.


SHE: Here’s Xander overhearing because Willow sent him to the library for a Trig book.
HE: They usually keep those things in the Math Office.
SHE: You don’t see people using the library during the series that much.
HE: I believe they call that verisimilitude.

HE: Here’s the underground lair of the Master. Why are all these vampires walking around vamped out?
SHE: Maybe they don’t know when he’s coming, and they want to look prepared.
HE: Yeah, like an inspection tour.
SHE: Jesus is coming, look busy.
HE: In the early days of the show, I remember the vampires vamping out at the slightest provocation.
SHE: They became flaccid as the series went on.

HE: Angel and Buffy’s first meeting—foot to chest.
SHE: That’s just foreshadowing. And why does he remind me of Angelus there? When does he smile again in the series?
HE: It is an uncommon occurrence. Buffy says she doesn’t want another friend, and he says, “I didn’t say I was yours.” What? Then whose?
SHE: Doyle maybe?
HE: They’re friends? I wish I knew what he was talking about.

HE: Giles going on about zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi..
SHE: He doesn’t mention the hyena people or bug people.
HE: He hasn’t got to that chapter yet. It’s interesting that Buffy refuses the call in the library. It’s like the whole Joseph Campbell Hero of a Thousand Faces thing where the hero has to initially refuse the call before setting out on the adventure. But what prompts her into action?
SHE: He distracts her by talking about vampires. And then she sees Willow in danger with a vampire.
HE: When they’re on the catwalk, with Giles saying “look at them, completely oblivious to the danger around them,” it reminds me of later on when Spike makes Buffy watch her friends as they’re, you know. That catwalk gets a lot of action.
SHE: Spike fought a vampire he sired up there. And Willow and Amy had their magicathon up there. I'm sure there's others.
HE: What do you think of the band?
SHE: The “clown hair” guys? I thought they were a good band. Giles’s taste in music is inconsistent. He has some folksy acoustic guitar moments, but Oz goes through his record collection and thoroughly approves of everything. He was more stereotypically stodgy here.
HE: We haven’t seen the Ripper yet.

SPRUNG MONKEY INTERLUDE



HE: Here’s Buffy, almost killing Cordelia.
SHE: She’ll wish she’d killed Cordelia over and over in later episodes.
HE: So far, both Giles and Cordy have snuck up on Buffy in this episode, but she still gets the drop on Angel. Either they’re super stealthy (smirk) or the “helper of the helpless” is super-clumsy.
SHE: Maybe he had change in his pockets. Or that crucifix necklace is really jangly.
HE: You can buy that crucifix on the Internet.
SHE: Yeah. So why don’t I already have one?

HE: Well, we’ve got to talk about The Master.
SHE: Not very scary.
HE: Pretentious nickname. What do you think about the costume?
SHE: Like a dominatrix. Only a guy.
HE: That’s a damn shiny beltbuckle he has there. I think the jacket makes him look like a dictator from the Asian Subcontinent.
SHE: He’s probably getting foreign aid from us right now.

SHE: Here’s the ultimate scene. She’s kind of shot herself in the foot running off from Giles. “One vampire I can handle,” she says. Then it turns out to be more than one. And I thought Darla was more fierce.
HE: Well, Darla does manage to get some good shots in on her. This Luke guy is kicking the crap out of her, though.
SHE: Is it psychological? Maybe Buffy doesn’t like being held up by the neck.
HE: Lost in this is the fact that the Scoobies now know what’s going on.
SHE: To be continued. I honestly don’t remember how she gets out of this. Do you?
HE: Negative. Guess we’ll have to watch “The Harvest.” That title makes me think of Children of the Corn.
SHE: Grr. Arrgh.

Coming up: "The Harvest."